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Saturday, November 13, 2010

Deodorant

Preamble: It might help to envision the following like an episode of The Big Bang Theory. You're welcome.

     My friend Grant (see here and here too) informed me that scientists are much closer now to developing ways to render things invisible. Think about that for a moment. In-vis-i-ble.
     Undoubtedly, I lack the ability to fully comprehend the science fuelling this incredible technology (something about nanoscale engineered properties, bending light and duct tape I bet) but I can provide at least one intelligent comment about the topic: whoa.
     Grant explained it well. In other words, that dude’s smart. Yet at the risk of pushing my geekness to Richter scale proportions, I must admit that his explanation lit such an imaginative spark in my noggin that it caused my brain to almost instantly "reboot." In other words, my mind completely changed direction, like pivoting on one's heel. 
     This happens to me frequently. My brain fiercely focuses on a new idea, heat-seeks the gist, and then instead of reflecting on it, my mind proceeds to access some sort of haphazard filing system searching, pruning, crafting an analogy or comparison, the odder the better. It’s like a car that pulls up along the curb to allow a passenger to enter, then suddenly makes a u-turn, in reverse. Meanwhile, someone is left standing at the curb looking perplexed.
     I believe the technical term for this might be brainfart.
     So anyway, this all transpired during his explanation, about sixty seconds max. Grant opened the conversation with "invisibility" and where was I sixty seconds later?
     "Deodorant."
     Let me explain. Do you have some odd-comment friends? Do know someone whose responses make you feel drunk? Do you have buds who say things that make you want to shake your head and nod at the same time? I'm one of those people.
     Sadly, I've grown accustomed to those awkward lulls during which I must explain to someone how I arrived at an idea. So here it is in eight easy steps. While Grant described how invisibility may soon become more science fact than science fiction, my mind went from
  1. the concept of invisibility to
  2. stealth plane (part of his explanation) to
  3. light to
  4. technology to
  5. innovation to
  6. invention to
  7. can-opener (stay with me) to
  8. deodorant.
     It all makes sense now right? 
     Okay. I'll explain. He described an exciting new invention and once I understood, I defaulted to a common invention and then to my favourite invention: deodorant. (Think about it. Would the world be even remotely as advanced without deodorant?)
     Surprisingly, Grant barely flinched at my seemingly random reaction and I know why. Did I mention that Grant began the entire conversation by noting how cool the wheels are on modern vehicles? Essentially, he segued from "sweet wheels" to "invisibility" in a matter of seconds. Birds of a feather brain fart together I guess. There must be lots of us out there stinking up the universe, right? Know any?

10 comments:

Alittlesprite said...

ME! I go from one thought to another in nano-seconds. I constantly perplex my hubby.
Where as, he never surprises me..lol.
Invisibility Deodorant?

Kristin - The Goat said...

I can totally see how you got there, but thanks for the map, I might not have understood otherwise LOL

Kristin _ The Goat
(via Saturday Sampling)

Artist and Geek said...

1. Allegedly invisible deodorant...
1a. Can-opener no longer in fridge
2. Invisibility
3. Predator
4. Adrian Brody miscast
5. Predator

ShanaM said...

I get it.
My brain farts rather often!!

Kristen said...

I thought you were going to comment on how supposedly "invisible" deodarants still leave unsightly white marks on our shirts. And then I wondered how scientists will make other things disappear if they can't even make invisible deodarant invisible. And that is why it's good that I'm not a scientist.

DB Stewart said...

@Alittlesprite Thank you for saying that fellow perplexer.
@Kirby3131 I'm glad it eventually made sense.
@Artist Funny.
@Shana I am not alone. Thank you.
@Kristen You and I both.

Mrs. Tuna said...

As Sheldon would say, Bazinga!

Missy said...

OK! I have a new fear now! My children becoming Invisible whenever they choose!

Julie said...

You visited my blog this evening, so I came here to check yours! After much hearty laughter at the amazing non-linear account of your logic, I am hooked...
I am going to follow you (well, follow your blog, anyway)!
Following you might prove too difficult for my simple mind...but I am sure going to try. Hopefully, I will continue to laugh while doing so! Nice to meet you, Jules

DB Stewart said...

@Mrs.Tuna Bazinga. I love it.
@Missy Let's hope the technology stays unavailable to the masses, 'cause you're right: it could get messy.
@Jules Thank you. Very nice to meet you too.

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