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In 2011, Time magazine did a comprehensive study on customer service satisfaction: it revealed that at least 1 in 2 people have a story to tell about their own personal customer service HELL. I have a new one but instead of leading me to hell it led me somewhere "colder."
Which of the following occurred when I recently called customer service after I discovered debit card fraud? (Spoiler: it’s all of them!)
a. Choose from among these six options.
b. Choose from among these four sub-options.
c. Remain on hold for 15 minutes.
d. Informed that this office cannot help because they process only lost or stolen cards, not card fraud. Huh?
e. Redirected to another office.
g. New office can’t help either. Redirected back to the original office.
i. Original office wants to know: who gave me this number?
j. No words. Asked for supervisor. Similar "can't help" message. Told that only credit cards are processed through their service. Debit card can only be cancelled by bank. Bank closed. No emergency number. (Already knew that but still incredulous: not acceptable.) Respectfully asked the representative if HE would be ok with leaving HIS bank account vulnerable to a criminal with a bogus version of HIS debit card accessing ATMs in New York all weekend. New flash: Nope. He wouldn't. But he still couldn't help.
k. Cry out to the sky.
l. Phone random office numbers at bank branches like I’m playing Ding-Dong-Ditch.
m. Office closed, directed to voice mail.
n. Next. Repeat. Office closed, directed to voice mail.
o. Next. Repeat. Office closed, directed to voice mail.
p. ALL OFFICES ON EARTH ARE NOW CLOSED. HELP ME, HELP ME, PLEASE.
r. Next. Repeat.
t. Confused, momentarily forget why and whom I called.
u. Person revealed she is not officially at work but she will take care of the problem.
WHAT? YES! And that, my friends, is how I found the YETI of customer service! People: never give up. If you search hard enough, true customer service people really do exist.